Random Musing

July 8, 2022, 12:27 PM Bangalore India

“Dec 20, 2014- It is good to feel lost.. because it proves you have a navigational sense of where home is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And may be your current location isn’t that place but, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lostness just brought you closer to it.”

This is what I posted almost 7.5 years back on Facebook. I was a mess- emotionally mostly because of turmoil going on in my life. I was in New Delhi, a city which I loved but hated during my entire 10 months of stay. This love and hate relationship has now settled down and I’m back to loving the city 🙂 Coming back to the quote, it resonated with me then and today when again I feel I’ve lost direction to life. I’ve always felt that I’m a kind of personality that I never had any aim, objective to follow. I led my life as it came- be it professional or personal or financial. I never planned my life. I don’t have a set routine, my days are sometimes super busy, hectic, normal, abnormal and sometimes super lazy- like any other person’s day would be. I wonder, is this the kind of life I wanted to which I would answer- some parts of my life are yes, as I wanted whereas some not at all fit that picture.

Since the time, I’ve got the Hospital Accreditation Assessment done in Oct 2021, I’ve gotten into the relaxed mode. I’m like- okay, I’ve got the job done, now no need to panic. Few days back, we even go the certificate! I cried tears of happiness seeing my hard work. It was the first hospital accreditation handled independently by me and the feeling was more than awesome! My Boss gave me a surprise by organizing a cake cutting and the CEO handed over the Certificate to me! I was over the moon! Many of my colleagues were jealous (which they later admitted ;)) Again, post this I’d gotten laid back. This was one of the things which I wanted to experience and now that I’ve got the experience I don’t see it exiting me anymore. I need something new to excite me but what is that. I don’t know what is my calling, what makes me happy and keeps me motivated and going? Sometimes I feel I’m too late to find that but sometimes when I look at motivational stories of people who started late in life and got their calling, I think of myself that may be I’m yet to reach there! Apna time aayega! But when is the question I keep asking myself.

A life without goals and objectives is mere living it. I read this somewhere- Day One or One Day… You choose!

Today happens to be my Best Friend D’s Birthday! wished him mid night yet to call! Also,3 years back on this day, I was hospitalized for my delivery. I took my father for health checkup in day and night got admitted 🙂 Every year from July 8th onwards I’ll keep thinking of the events leading to Gubbu’s birth and it’s such great feeling how once a small lil baby, has turned into a 3 year old Toddler!

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