Those 5 years

​It’s been exactly 5 years since I started working. I can still recall what exactly I was doing sitting in office at this time- struggling with bulky files given and trying to figure out what data I’m supposed to pick up. The naïve me! While I was getting ready for office this morning, 5 years old morning in Chennai flashed in front of my eyes. I was in local train in early morning hours. When I reached final stop, I waited for office bus to arrive but to my dismay I couldn’t see any bus coming and neither any staff standing. I took an auto and headed towards my destination. After few minutes, I saw my office bus overtaking my auto! Finally I reached office and was welcomed by Boss and other colleagues. I was given bulky files to go through and work on them and that’s how my day started. Those were days when I wasn’t cooking at home with my friends because we didn’t have any LPG connection. I had to be dependent on office canteen. As you can expect, the food there was horrible. I couldn’t find anything eatable but managed to survive till one month on curd-rice, sambhar-rice and bread-omelet.  I used to love curd-rice during college days but after that one month’s horrifying experience, I’ve not touched curd-rice again till date. We managed to get LPG connection after one month and celebrated our freedom of eating at home! It was a tough time as we were not able to find any North Indian food joint nearby our office or home. We had to be dependent on outside hotels, restaurants and mess which primarily served South Indian food. I’ll never ever forget those days! They taught us a lot… hardships, struggle, friendship, standing for your friends, value of money, savings, home-made food, happiness even in limited resources.

It’s worth a mention that those were days when not all four of us had regular jobs. We faced difficult times too. I worked for my company without any pay for 1.5 months because the girl who joined before me disappeared randomly and this time they didn’t want to take any chance hence this was the condition which I accepted because I wanted a job with this good company. While I was struggling my other three friends supported me emotionally as well as financially. Things improved later on and I started getting my salary. One by one two of my friends lost their jobs and were really shattered not just on professional front but also at personal level. We all four again stood rock solid with each other. We supported each other in all possible ways. Those were times when we were really happy even after facing such difficult times and without much amenities. We used to cook a lot, talk till late night, dance, have fun, go shopping- which usually was grocery shopping, movies with other friends and come back walking on empty Chennai roads in late hours (now that’s something I missed doing in other cities I lived). We never cribbed that we don’t have that fancy job and salary package but we were happy and that I feel was enough to get us going. I still strongly feel that that was the best phase of life in terms of everything. The real happiness!!

Today we earn well, are settled respectively in our lives; moved to different cities and two of my friends have moved to Bangalore. Life has moved on and so have we. When I look back, I see a lot has happened since then. I’ve changed, my surrounding, friends, family and my life has changed drastically. Few people who were strength and life support are not in my life anymore and I’m still surviving without them. That means that life never stops for anyone. We feel that we can’t live without anyone- our parents, siblings, boy/girlfriend, husband, wife, kids, friends etc. but life teaches you everything. It’s up to us whether we choose to move on or cling on their memories and get stuck in past. When I lost my ex and one of my very-very close friends, life seemed stand still. But I had to move on; I had no option left with me. It was hard, very difficult but somehow everything fell in place; from professional to personal life. Touchwood! I don’t say that everything is perfect but what I see now is better than before. I had my own level of hardships, lessons, struggle and that made me what I am today. Though not very proud but not disappointed as well.

A quick rewind of past five years-

– Came back to Chennai exactly after a month of leaving it permanently

– Got my first job with a very reputed company

– Struggled, learnt and managed my life at personal and professional level

– Started full time cooking

– Had the best relationship phase with my Ex

– Spoke to parents about our relationship, parents spoke to each other

– Hated Chennai like anything

– Tried moving to city where my Ex was but all in vain

– Had an ON/OFF relationship with my Ex

– We broke up as things didn’t work out between families

– Left Chennai permanently

– Was jobless for 4-5 months

– Moved to Bangalore for a temporary job and spent every quarter of that year in three different cities

– Travelled to new cities for job interviews via every possible mode of transportation- buses, trains, flights

– Had amazing time with friends- Pochu and my girls gang

– Met guys with wedding prospect- some rejected me and I rejected many

– Finally got job in Capital city where I dreaded to go, as my ex was there

– Met my old school friends

– Was betrayed by one of my very close friends and chose not to be in touch

– Travelled to new cities for work related things

– Learnt new dimensions, domain of my work

– Met a lot of new people

– Tried hard to come back to Bangalore

– Attended my best friend and close friend’s wedding

– Got job in Bangalore

– Underwent a life-threatening emergency surgery on the way when I was supposed to travel to Bangalore from my home. On 4-5 weeks of medical leave with no job in hand, later my current company agreed to wait till my recovery

– Spent Diwali with my family after 5-6 years

– Back to Bangalore and resumed work

– Found Love again, Pochu came into my life; both set of Parents agreed

– Got engaged

Phewwwwwwwwww…… So this has been my life in past five years in nutshell !!
Still need to go a long way but these 5 years have been amazing and I’m glad that I was able enough to pick up my shattered pieces and move on.

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The Evening Silence

“  bikhri-bikhri si julfein hain kyun..

khoyi-khoyi si aankhein hain kyun… 

ghum ka ye pal guzar jaega… 

fir koi humsafar aaega…”

– from the movie What’s Your Rashee

A soothing vocal with heart touching music and lyrics playing in background; adding grace to the silence which I’ve chosen to spend my evening with. Once I’m back from office, it’s usually only me and my loneliness. The only companion I’ve after I enter my house is my T.V. and FM radio. They not just entertain me but also make me lethargic. Once I get refreshed, I make myself a cup of tea, grab some snacks and quickly slip into my blanket with TV remote and phone. After spending some lazy moments, I force myself after an hour or so to get up and cook something for dinner and the lazy me (courtesy Bangalore weather) keeps procrastinating. All my determination and plan to cook healthy and nice dinner and then sleep early goes in vain. I end up cooking or eating at a time when I should have hit the bed. The ideal eating and sleeping pattern goes for a toss. I get frustrated and really count no. of hours I will be sleeping when I go to bed between 00:00-01:00 hours!!😣😴

For a change, today I really started cooking at odd hours of evening, i.e. 19:00 hours which generally used to be Tea-time!! Well, that’s how maverick I am. I surprise myself to at times! One of my colleagues had told me once that I’ve bi-polar personality traits!! And his conclusion was based on my frequent mood swings, easy irritability etc. etc. how absurd was that!! 😎

I came late today from office, courtesy the last day of monthly data submission which made last minute following up with few pending departments to send their data so that I can collate and send them to my Central Team.  Was stuck in office till 18:45 hours and then finally called it a day. While I reached my house, I chose not to switch on TV or FM Radio which on most of the evenings I used to do. It was a house with complete silence. Something incited me to start cooking for an early dinner. And thankfully I heard the voice and not my monkey mind which always discourages and procrastinates my plans. And so that’s how I cooked and had an early dinner and how I found some time to write this post! I felt happy! I felt good after doing this! 😃

It’s a random post!! Random words!!🤗