Random Musings

Life is so uncertain, undetermined. It’s like a river which will keep flowing but you really can’t predict or determine its way. On its way it takes you to different paths and directions giving you all sorts of experiences. It’s so strange when you get what you were longing for and then you ask yourself- what next? With Pochu coming in my life and now finally settling down with him, the inner self asks me- what next? Touchwood for everything good now happening in my life… I’m at a comfortable and content stage of my life, settled professionally in a city of my choice, marrying a person whom I wanted; parents are finally content on my part. What else one could wish for… but still this is not the end of my chase, my journey. Need to identify a new chase, a new goal. A new life is waiting with its arms wide open. A new set of parents, a new family and loads of responsibilities. It might seem very normal to anyone reading this or anyone else, but it’s really a life stirring experience for anyone experiencing it for the first time.

Wedding comes with its own share of new experiences, responsibilities, teachings. Spending your whole life with a new person, yes, a new person; it doesn’t matter if you have known that person before, but knowing the person inside out and then living with the same person 24/7 is completely new and different experience. We both know each other from almost 7 years now. But it’s this time that we have really started knowing and “understanding” each other. We had and still have disagreements, fights, arguments, but at the end of it, it really helps both of us in exploring each other. Our relationship will become official in a matter of 23 days and I really can’t think of it. How life is going to change, how I’m gonna face my parents standing beside him, his family, our extended families. It will be normal and regular phenomena for them but for us it’s a life changing occasion.

Does this really happen? Does wedding makes you more responsible? It has happened, I’ve experienced it. When I skip my meals, I don’t bother about it much but when he does the same, I become a different person, interrogating and reprimanding him. When you have someone in your life and importantly when you are very sure about him/her, it does changes you for good J With a bitter experience in past, when I see my parents accepting Pochu and his family whole heartedly, I feel on top of this world, I feel so content and happy. This happiness can’t be compared to the happiness what I had with my ex. It’s an altogether different feeling. I’m feeling guilty, I keep mentioning and comparing my happiness with my past which I really shouldn’t do. There is no comparison, that was a phase of my life where that happiness was different and my present happiness is different. I do understand this fact, but unknowingly, I end up mentioning about it which I as well as my mom and friends feel, is really wrong. I think I should strictly stop doing this to secure and save my present and future from the dark shadows of my past.

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